Thursday, September 8, 2011

How it began.....

Here is a little background on me, I come from a small town, I lived with my Mother and older sister, my father....well he was MIA. I have always been over weight it's just who I was the fat girl, but that wasn't who I wanted to be labeled as, so I made another name for myself "the funny, outgoing fat girl"! Yes, I know some how those are still harsh words, but for me placing the funny and outgoing before FAT it didn't seem as bad. I was well liked and always ready to make someone laugh even if that meant at my exspense, I figured if I beat them to the fat jokes then they couldn't say hurtful words right? Though I often wore a smile on my face, I was broken inside I didn't want to be this way, I can't pin point as to why I wanted to gorge myself other than just loving food!! I could go on and on about all the wrong choices I made not just food wise, but in other ways too through out my childhood. However for the sake of my fingers and time I'll fast forward to my late teens early 20's..........

At 17 I moved out of my Mom's house seeking freedom, and even though I had a great childhood and teen years like always I felt the grass was greener on the other side. Well needless to say it wasn't I have to struggle through not just a food addict I then picked up a new one alcohol. I would work and party, then work and party again I was spinnig out of control. Oh and I need to mention I started losing weight and I was replacing eating with drinking alcohol and finally after comsuming myself with a very older man and his verbal and emotional abuse I hit my bottom. I found myself miserible and looking for a little peace and because I had a God fearing Mother who prayed for me everyday I finally found a way out!! I met my then very geekish soon to be Hubby and by this point I had lost about 120 lbs but still felt just disgusted with myself!! So after giving in to Erik (my now Hubby) I went on my first date with him and my life was changed!! We started dating and I started to get involved with church again and I felt happy for once and really at this point happy with this body of mine!!!


Fast forward again after a very short time of dating I married and my weight had packed on little by little but I did lose my Grandfather during this time and I did have that I don't care what I eat I am just going to eat attitude!! Then came baby and 80 lbs, yes you read right 80 lbs and I "tried" to lose that but not really. I didn't lose but maybe 10 lbs and then 10 months passed and surprise pregnant again really, did I not remember what caused this the first time!? However 19 months later I had my second child and more weight, I then decided to join the gym AGAIN, but this time was different I got a trainer and lost 90 lbs!! I felt great that was amazing but once I had to stop training because of the funds I was back into my old ways of eating and thinking. I see now through time that I really didn't give credit to God for my success I was just so caught up in working out and losing I never really gave much thought or time to God! I needed a revelation as to why I could lose with a trainer and without one I just thought it was impossible!! It was because I didn't have balance in my life so as I struggled to make God first in every area of life I also struggled with my weight and I packed on 35-40 pounds!!


So that leaves us to the now, I have lost 17 of those 35-40 lbs but it seems to hard why Lord did you make me FAT!! Then I read a verse " I will praise thee: for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." Psalm 139:14 KJV
God had not made me this way, I had with all the junk I consumed and allowed myself to eat and drink. So as I have been thinking of this verse for months, I am trying something new to reboot myself and consume nothing but fresh juiced veggies and fruit for 10 days!! I know this sounds crazy why would someone do this? Here is why I wanted to do this one to cleanse my body from all the toxic things I have put into my body, reason two I need to learn how to control myself! God has given me self-control but I really don't apply it to my food and what and how much I am consuming!! I feel it is important to take care of our bodies if I believe the Bible God's Word and I do, why have a destroyed something He has created, that is He, Himself says "is fearfully and wonderfully made"?
We are made in His image, our body is a temple of Christ this is what the Word of God tells us, and so I want to try something new and it begins with the juicing. This is the way I am going to learn how wonderfully made I really am by denying my flesh and depending only on God to be my strength  through this journey. So I will be posting more as the days creep by and let people know how things are going on this juicing journey!!

I can do all thing through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13 KJV

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